Kettle's Yard and other Cambridge delights

This weekend I returned to my educational homeland of Cambridge. It's three years since I graduated and there have been times where it's just confusing to go back there because not a lot has matched Cambridge since I left. But this time I felt all the youthful optimism and a proud territoriality I had in that blissful naivety of student days.

king's college, cambridge

I went to visit Kettle's Yard which is an art gallery and exhibition space. It's an amazingly tranquil and relective place, great for students and weary tourists alike. It was donated to the University of Cambridge byJim and Helen Ede. Kettle's Yard house was their house and that's what makes it so special. It has the feeling that you're in someone's house as though everything lays untouched. As well as their art collection it houses their home including trinkets and treasures collected along the way. The art collection includes Alfred Wallis, Christopher Wood, David Jones and Joan Miro, and sculptures by Henri Gaudier-Brzeska, Constantin Brancusi, Henry Moore and Barbara Hepworth. It's fascinating to see the art in a 'real life' setting and it adds a dimension to it that is lost in so many galleries. It shakes off the austerity of formal art spaces.
Museum staff were some elderly ladies who looked rich in stories and wisdom and added to the quaint charm. I was dutifully informed we could sit in any of the chairs and read the books in the library. I also went to see the current exhibition by Tim Head- Raw Material.

Gaudi Brezka - 'The Dancer'

kettle's yard

bookshelf in a chair

chair, kettle's yard

There's also a captivating piece of willow tree, it was hit by lightning on the river cam and the singed remains resemble an old man.

I recommend Local Secrets if you're heading to Cambridge for recommendations of cool restaurants, shops and things to do.

My personal recommendations include:

1- Trockel Ulmann und Freunde A german cafe just out of the centre, amazing hot chocolate with fresh cream, coffee, home-made cakes (like blackberry, chocolate and nut and orange and almond) and soups.  And the cherry on the proverbial cake is some sumptuous decor.

2- The Zoology Museum see some of Darwin's samples from his time in Cambridge to the Beagle voyage, also see fossils and skeletons of a giant sloth, ichthyosaurus, elephants, antelopes etc etc.

3- The Rainbow Cafe great veggie and vegan restaurant

4- Punting along the river cam, take the lesser travelled route to Granchester...

5- The Orchard at Granchester ponder under the apple trees like Rupert Brooke, Virginia Woolfe, Watson & Crick, Wittgenstein, Ted Hughes and Sylvia Plath

6- The Empress pub go to feed the miniture pet pigs in the beer garden and enjoy the year round countdown to Xmas

7- Mill Road The road less travelled, great international supermarkets, restaurants like 196 meze bar, cafes like the black cat cafe and CB1, and other weird and wonderful things

8-Jesus Green Lido the longest lido in Europe, good for a summer dip if you're scared of wild river swimming in the Cam

9-The Round Church it's a church, and it's round.Pretty cool.

10- The Wren Library. I've said it before I'll say it again. It is amazing. See some original Winnie the Pooh manuscripts alongside Newton's Principia and Wittgenstein's notebooks. All housed in the Library designed by Sir Christopher Wren. Literary Heaven.

I could go on and on. But I won't unless you're interested. I'll end by saying it is way better than Oxford. Obviously.

The Delicious Miss Dahl

I watched Sophie Dahl's new cookery programme on BBC 2 last night. And I actually really rather enjoyed it. It felt like a fun frolic with your ever so-slightly rebellious friend. It's had a bit of so-so media coverage and unfair comparisons to Nigella-the-godess-Lawson. She's not trying to steal her crown but yes, it's a bit similar, a bit sickly sweet and a bit pretentious. But in a way, that is all the things I love in a cookery show. There'll be 6 shows in all, each emotionally themed, this week was food for when you're feeling Selfish.

http://www.quentinblake.com/index.html

The title is unashamedly Roald Dahl. But actually, Sophie Dahl is an enchanting story-teller in her own right. And she was the muse for Sophie in the BFG. She had a excellent way with words, scripted or not, and this was the best feature of the show to me. She oozed enthusiasm in this respect but I couldn't help but feel that this didn't quite cross over in the food. It was good-looking wholesome food. I took some ideas from it, but it wasn't earth-shatteringly good. With the plethora of whimsical women donning our screens with 'new' cooking ideas I think the food in The Delicious Miss Dahl could have been better.


I did like the interludes, of Dahl in little shops musing and lusting over items. I think she tried to appeal to all the classes and all the viewers, careful not to emphasise her generous upbringing and probably sizable fortune. I think she liked food, but if anything I wanted a bit more Nigella-based indulgence.


All in all, a nice tuesday night drift into dreaming of the good-life, the good food and the good-times. I might not be buying her cookery book, but I'll be watching next week, Romance, and I may indulge in her novella.

In particular one quote that I liked was this,

 "Be admired by an American, courted by an Italian, married to an Englishman and have a French boyfriend."
Katharine Hepburn

Je t'aime, le cool

Le cool says it all in the name. Le Cool offer a refreshing group of guides to the coolest cities in Europe. Somehow, they feel quite anti-guidebooks actually, they're pretty hotch-potch and not designed to tell you the big touristy monuments. Le Cool cover Amsterdam, Barcelona, Madrid, London and Lisbon. If you're a bit sick of Lonely Planet and like the independent feel, these are a great option.

You can get your hands on really awesome guide books which are super pleasurable to read and look at or you can go cyber and virtual-click your way through weekly magazines (also including Istanbul, Dublin, Moscow and Budapest). The weekly features are nice because it's obviously really up to the minute, and often you'll be visiting a city for a long weekend, and want to see the most hip-happening/hot-off-the-press/just-opened/one-night-only stuff, including gigs, cinema, festivals, talks, protests, clubs and museums.

This week it tells you where in London you can Make a Dress in a Weekend (Prescott place if you're interested), or go to an Alice in Wonderland inspired Manhattan Tea Party and Underground Markets. It is bursting at the cyber-seams with le cool stuff to do. It's even le cool if you live there.

What other people say,

“The guidebook for people who hate guidebooks”
The Guardian

“The travel guide for the been-there, done-that set”
New York Times

“Your hippest good friend”
The Independent

“Get your hands on one ASAP”
Grafik

I Heart Joni

 

Excerpt from A Case of You ~ Joni Mitchell. Love reinvented by Laura Marling.

A poem by Hugo Williams

A few months ago I heard this poem by Hugo Williams whilst he was in the running for the TS Eliot Prize 2009. I really liked the close observtions he made. It's quite a power to turn the mundane into something so touching like this. The poem is from his collection, West End Final.


Marital Visit ~ Hugo Williams

The odd thing put away
in the wrong place – cups and plates
back in the cupboard
that I always leave out,
curtains open on the street
that I always keep drawn,
remind me of your recent brief
progress through here,
looking for something in the attic.


How could I forget:
butter in the fridge, but never eggs,
burnt matches everywhere,
in spite of the gas lighter,
jam jars soaking in water
to get the labels off.
How typical of you
to give the Chinese teapot a last chance
to prove itself in company.

And look at that tea towel
slung like your signature
over the back of a chair.
I could weep for the small spoons
lying down with the forks,
the corkscrew with the tea strainer.
Leave them where they are forever?
Or harden my heart
and put them back where they belong?

Mexican Food Made Simple

 

Having been to Mexico and experienced the food there, I am infactuated to say the least. However, I am now a foodie snob and scoff at many popular references to so called 'mexican food'. Food in Mexico is not just a commodity it is a huge part of their culture, history and pride. Tex-mex- It. Is. Not.

The food is rich and sumptuous. Offers at Day of the Dead, often include food- a sign of the most precious thing they can give. From the chocolate and chiles in Mole, to the  guacamole, corn tortillas, tamales, churros, horchata, tinga and esquite. The list is endless and a veritible feast for heart and soul. In Mexico I didn't manage to bring back a cookery book and looking here in England I thought I'd have to make another visit just to do so.

But Masterchef winner Thomasina Miers has come to my culinary rescue with Mexican Food Made Easy. Having spent a good deal of time in Mexico and now opening the slightly unfortunately named Wahaca....why it is not Oaxaca, I do not know...in London to rave reviews, she's now bought out a Mexican cooking book, Mexican Food Made Simple. When amazon faithfully delivered the hardback brick, I was amazed at how interesting and Mexican the recipes were.

They're also, true to the title, easy to follow and have some nice stories and musings to help it go down. A few of the recipes use a master-recipe of roasted tomata salsa. Using this I made the chicken and corn humble pie. The sauce has a good punch to it, the recipe is really quite flexible and good for left over chicken and it has a light corn-based topping. It went down well and 'pretty mexican' with my Mexican guest. Tlayudas are high up on my next-to-try list.

Mexican food made simple seems like a real winner for anyone who loves the authentic mexican food. Perfect for dinner parties too, which I like because Mexico is such a friendly interactive place and food is really central to social and family life. There's also a section on the types of chile and herbs to use and a directory of Mexican food shops in the UK. A long over due Mexican cooking book that allows me to lust after mexico once more.

Ñam!
8/10

Happy, sunny days

Win a round the world trip with Lonely Planet. I've just uploaded a travel photo of some taxis I saw in Taxco, Mexico,  to Lonely Planet's new competition and subsequently spent about half an hour browsing other peoples, getting inspired and dreaminig of sunnier climes.

Taxco Taxis in Mexico

I speak because I can

Today I actually looked forward to the fact it was Monday because Laura Marling released her new album. After some cursing of iTunes I managed to download it and listen to it whilst working this morning. I drank an extra cup of coffee and regaled my ears with a gem.

I Speak because I can, Laura Marling

Over the weekend I've read some reviews, the first 5 stars I've seen for a while and I was hoping it wasn't overhyped. I put off buying her first album, not wanting to jump on the bandwagon. Temptation eventually won out and I've listened to it a lot.

Her new album, on first impressions, seems a lot more developed and complex. Rambling Man reminded me somewhat of Joni Mitchell's Blue, which is obviously a triumph in itself.

"If I sit here and weep I'll be blown over by the slightest breezes...Give me to a rambling man, let it always be known that I was who I am...Its hard to accept yourself as someone you don't desire, as someone you don't want to be"

It's really strong and empowering. The instrumentation is accompanies the lyrics incredibly well and give it an american blues feel to the album. On Alas I cannot swim, Laura Marling's writing talents were really a huge strength. The lyrics are often storytelling and that continues on I Speak Because I Can. Her first album released when she was about 18 I think, now she seems to have more material and a more mature slant on things. I loved the heart-on-sleeve nature of the first album, but I think it was important for her new album to be different and a development from that. The album is really interesting because Marling can do rousing as well as melancholy, complex and stripped-down.

I think I'll be listening to this album a lot and forming my opinion based on that. But so far a stand out track for me is the title track. Sitar sounding guitars, occasional Chrissie Hind to her voice and lovingly crafted lyrics.
"I used to be so kind...In the braking of the morning we'll be dancing on my soft love, when you shaking out the anger that stops you from taking my coat, when your running up the highway singing Im the king, the king of you all, when you look back to where it started I'll be there waving you on"

Other recommendations: Alas I Cannot Swim (Laura Marling), Sea Sew (Lisa Hannigan), Blue (Joni Mitchell)

Mantra for today

Books off the Bookshelves

I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves ~Anna Quindlen

Recently, I felt a little uncomfortable when I was drawn to this book sitting on a shelf in the bookshop. I was drawn to it but I didn't really know why. The blogosphere however tells me there's quite a few people interested in the beauty of bookshelves. A good bookshelf turns a house into home and makes the occupier a lot more interesting in my eyes.

The book was Books Do Furnish a Room and I felt that if I ever design a house....One day. One day....I would definitely make books a focal point. Sometimes, when people look at my books I feel they are seeing a little window into my soul. I find myself explaining my books, justifying and backtracking. It's the same with a music collection. Beware the power of the iPod. It's often slightly momentous for me when I recommend a book to someone or tell them of a book I've really enjoyed.

Seeing this book coincided with a programme I saw that featured Ron Arad talking about his new design and architecture exhibitioin Restless at the Barbican. Design and architecture really speaks to me, I think because it is practical and useful but beautiful at the same time. I'm a very pragmatic and organising sort of person. Ron Arad famously designed the BookWorm bookshelf, a book shelf you can mould into pretty much any shape. It's not overly useful in terms of storing a lot of books but it is a nice idea all the same.

Ceiling Bookshelf, Apartment Therapy (c)

This ceiling bookshelf is extremely space savvy. I think the idea is that about 90% of books you own don't get used a lot. I really like this idea of using the ceiling. You'd need high ceilings, and not to use your books too often.

bibliochaise

I love this bibliochaise, although it doesn't look like the comfy all-encompassing chair you might imagine whilst spending several hours reading your book, but it is really fun. My attention span, in reality, is quite short so being able to reach for another book on whim is very appealing.

big comic shelf

This comic bookshelf by Oscar Nunez is also fun. It's a nice alternative to the plain white shelf.
In essence though, an entire wall-to-wall bookshelf is still my favorite. When I was studying in Cambridge I engaged in trying to use as many libraries as I could, not in a bookporn kind of geek-chic way, just to relieve the boredom of studying for hours on end.

Wren Library

Believe me, hearing the late night revellers on a Saturday night whilst sat in a dusty library isn't so fun. But I did love King's Library, the Zoology Library and Wren library (even though you can't study in that one).

Bookshelf by Gianni Botsford

This bookcase holds 16,000 books. It was designed by Gianni Botsford for his father. It’s almost as impressive from the outside of the house. It is absolute heaven to me.
One day…

Things to do in London

Sometimes I hate London. And this allows me to smugly agree with myself, that would be a terrible place to live and it's better to put two fingers up to the capital and say, 'I'm happy with my countryside, thank you very much'. But at the moment I love London and all it has to offer, as is apparent from my recent splurge of London loving posts.

I don't know a whole lot about the place, but I do know there is SO much to see and do. I'm more of a mooch about and soak up the spirit of the place kinda' gal. So I really enjoy to just sit and have a coffee and generally watch the world go by. Unrelenting trudging makes my feet hurt and soul drop into my shoes.

Some places I like, 

Flat White is a coffee shop in Soho. It sounds a bit pretentious and blah, in a way it is, it takes forever to get a coffee in this place. It took me a special diversion to get there with my family in tow too. But the coffee is yummy. I think the people who started it are australian, I didnt know the australians were any good at hot coffee, but it turns out they are. Strong, smooth and damned good.

I love bookshops almost as much as I love coffee. In fact in Bath, Topping and co have it so right. They bring you over a free cafetiere of lovely good quality coffee whilst you browse the books in their oak-lined shop. Heaven.

In London though, I really like Daunt Books in Marylebone. Books are categorised into country. That's basically enough said to tell you how amazing it is. You come out feeling like you've been around the world in 80 minutes.

Also in Marylebone go to divertimenti which is a super nice all-things-cookery shop.
In Covent Garden there's another two-birds-with-one-stone vibe going on. Maggie Hambling’s sculpture of Oscar Wilde. I saw an exhibition of Maggie Hambling's work called No Stright Lines at the Fitzwilliam Museum in Cambridge a few years ago and it was spectacular. You can sit on the sculpture like a seat, and read his lines, ‘We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.’  Sure to put a smile on your face and take the weight off your feet.

In one of my last posts I mentioned Spitalfield's market, great for new deisgners, clothes, food and niccynaccky things. I love markets, they really expose the spirit of a place and the general hubbub is often quite stirring. Other nice markets are the obvious Potobello Market for antiques. Nearby the Lazy Daisy cafe is a good good good for a coffee. Brick Lane market is good. Its quite a random selection of stuff, lots of old and kitsch things, household and clothes. I recommend Camden for palm readings and mystical experiences. Camden also has a good coffee bar called the Bean 'n' Cup.

My art gallery pick is the Whitechapel Gallery. I don't know much about art or good galleries but I liked this one for a change.

If its summer, and right now, Im lusting after summer, I think Greenwich is jsut a beautiful place to hang out and laze on the grass at the Greenwich Park. It's the oldest royal park, and has a good dollop of quintiscential english loveliness.

Graffiti and Cupcakes in London

I love big contrasts. The things that smack pattern and conformity in the face. On a recent mooch in London I saw some lovely contrasts. A big city has a veritable plethora of visual loveliness I find.

Firstly I saw this graffiti near-by Brick Lane, the Indian corner of London. I quite like graffiti sometimes, because (i) it makes use of an other blank canvas, (ii) it's often subtly clever (iii) it's not money-making so it's really honest, (iv) it often represents a current social thought or feeling and (v) you never know when you might find it.

Then I went to the Van Gogh exhibition at the Royal Academy, which incidentally is really good. It's a selection of Van Gogh's work across his working lifetime, alongside letters to and from his brother Theo up until a few days before he died. Anyway, really near to the Royal Academy in Piccadilly, is Fortnum and Mason. The epitome of all that is over-indulgent luxury. It's been going strong since 1707. I saw some cupcakes. I wanted to eat them. Instead I looked on longingly like a child in a toy-shop.

Finally, I'll share with you Leon. More culinary deliciousness. I stumbled across the one in Spitalfield's market. Disppointed the market wasn't on, I soon recovered on spotting Leon. It's great seasonal food at shiny lovely prices. It's light-shades are made of recycled oil cans, and the food is served in brown cardboard boxes. The food is simple, I took the chilli with a chunk of lemon and some pea and carrot coleslaw. Very wholesome and very easy to recommend. I bought the bookwritten by founder and resident foodie god Allegra McEvedy. I really like Allegra's style, in herself and her food. As a bonus, the packaging is recyclable, they use produce from local farms, and give left over food to charity. This is a great, pretty ethical whilst oozingly cool restaurant.

Living Libraries

Don't judge a book by its cover

This is a really interesting idea where humans are rented out instead of books. Challenge your own prejudices with a living library.

The Living Library Project

The Human Library originated, like many forward thinking social projects, in Scandinavia more specifically, in Copenhagen, Denmark.

At its heart, it aims to address social prejudices as obvious as disability, disfigurement, sexuality, religion and race but it also covers less obvious subjects like male nannies, knitters and hiphoppers! In an increasingly globalised world this seems like a very positive idea. Also, as globalised as we are, we're becoming more and more separated from people living in our close vicinity. I'd imagine the majority of people in cities don't know who their neighbours are. I just heard a radio programme on the Human Library on Radio 4. Interestingly, the project seems to help the people living with the stigma as well as those holding a stereotyped view.

Fortunately, they don't try to preach a doctrine or to convert people. It also doesn't just seem to attract people who are already quite liberal and accepting. Even if you are liberal and open you still might not have the knowledge to completely understand a group of people.Or you might not think you stereotype at all and it's completely reasonable to, let's say struggle to understand fundamentalism and pro-life. You might be a Darwinist and think creationism ridiculous. But listening to someone else's viewpoint might open you up a bit, you might learn more about the topic and broaden your horizons.

I think, it's important to recognise that having stereotypes is innate and useful for us as human beings to function. It's important to challenge your views though. And in a politically correct society it's also useful to have a floor to discuss stereotypes in. Interestingly, some venues for the human library projects don't like posters to use certain words that might offend the public.Hmmm.

I'm not sure you'd get every type of person to participate in this idea, but it's novel and nice tangent to come at the topic of stereotypes from. I'm sick of hearing about what a waste of time and money prison is, and about the lack of understanding in the world creating mindless conflict. It's the type of thing our government should endorse. My advice- Get down to your local (human) library.

Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf?

'For most of history, Anonymous was a woman' ~ Virginia Woolf
 
Lots of 'hear it for the girls' recently, but as it's the week of International Women's Day I figure, once more won't hurt. I watched The Hours recently, a film about the life of Virginia Woolf. It was well-crafted mixing three stories of three women from different periods of time, one was Virginia Woolf, the other two were more recent Woolf fans. I didn't realise how she struggled in her life and her fight for liberation from her husband, her friends and her society. After this, I was inspired to read Mrs Dalloway, before deeming Woolf, 'too hard'. It was pretty hard and unfortunately not as life-changing as I'd hoped. Even so it was an interesting read and it seemed semi-autobiographical.

Frida Kahlo and La Casa Azul

Self-Portrait with Monkey

Frida Kahlo is so cool it hurts.  I was aware of Frida Kahlo and her symbolic monobrow. On a recent trip to Mexico, my first trip off the continent no less, I went to her house. Not in a I-was-invited-round-for-tea way obviously, her house is called the Blue House and it’s now a museum/homage to Kahlo and Diego Riviera. La Casa Azul is in Coyoacan, a suburb of Mexico City. It displays some mind-blowing work alongside some possesions and annotations. It’s actually such a good idea for a museum. It remnoves that stuffy pretension that comes with so many formal art spaces. Its really accessible and appeals to anyone who likes people and their story as well as cool works of art.

Her paintings are really striking with vibrant colours and realism. Many pieces are self-portraits or relate to the difficulties she faced in her life. She really rose up and smacked adversity in the face if you ask me.

She was born just before the Mexican revolution began in 1910. Apparently she later said she was born in 1910 in order to be directly associated with the revolution. She got polio which rendered one of her legs pretty much useless. In 1925 she had a near-fatal road accident which affected her reproductive abilites and nearly destroyed her leg.

After her accident she gave up the idea of studying medicine to become a painter. I found her paintings of her fertility issues and disabilities really interesting and she very much faced dark subject matters head on. She was married to murualist Diego Rivera, a notorious womaniser to say the least, even having an affair with Frida’s sister. Frida’s love for Diego comes across from la casa azul and in literature, as incredibly strong. So strong it makes a revolutionary stubborn woman like Frida, weak. Love is an unfathomable power.

The couple befriended Leon Trotsky, Stalin-opposer in exile from Russia. Good grief.

I think I could go on and on. But I won’t. Just, if you happen to be in Mexico City, and have a spare hour or three, head over to the museo frida, and give her a salute from me.

Puedo Escribir los Versos mas Tristes Esta Noche

I really like this poem by Pablo Neruda. I first heard it in the film 'Il Postino' which I equally like and recommend. I'm not sure we can ever fully translate a poem or piece of writing. Learning spanish, I've found that language like culture can never be completely understood just by learning and gaining knowledge (something which, as someone who likes to see results from hard-work, I find quite troubling). But now, I quite like that slight enigmatic quality of other cultures. Nonetheless, I continue to expose myself to spanish and hope that line by line, person by person, place by place I start to understand a little more.

'Puedo Escribir los Versos mas Tristes Esta Noche'

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example: "The night is shattered,
and the blue stars shiver in the distance."

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
That I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

On nights like this one, I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, and sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not not have loved her great, still eyes?

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered, and she is not with me.

This is all.
In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same the same trees.
We, we who were, are the no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that is certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her ear.

Another's. She will be another's. Like my kisses before
Her voice, her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that is certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms,
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer,
and these the last verses that I write for her.

School of Life

I'm not sure if this is unadulterated genius or just pompous self-indulgent ridiculousness....

School of Life

It offers passionate polemics on topics such as 'how to read', 'how necessary is a relationship' and 'how to be cool'.

It screams self-help gone mad, and I think it was pretty mad in the first place actually.

There has to come a point where you just relax and enjoy the inherent differences between people. Just smile and let the world go round. Man.

Choosing a Career

My career, or rather my non-existent career, is something that crosses my mind most days. In fact at the moment, every day. I'm not the only one with severe life-planning dysfunction, but sometimes I feel like I am. I've thought on and off about 'where I fit' since I was about 16. It started to dominate my thoughts post-graduation, which I now realise was 3 years ago. I'm no closer to choosing a career and I've lost that fresh optimism and fearlessness that comes with a shiny new degree. It's not quite as powerful as I once thought.

I suppose I have developed in the sense of knowing a few more things that I definitely don't want to do. But I'm a procrastinator and I've got to the point where I'm scared of thinking. Because I'm worried I won't find an answer.

I'm hugely competitive, which is probably what made me a good student. But life maps itself out as a student, you work as hard as you can, get the best grades you can, go to the best university you can and get the best degree you can. With a  first from Cambridge University it is now not just about choosing between the bifurcation of 'yes' or 'no', there's a plethora of options and nobody to guide me.

Things that are annoying me: I'm looking at really diverse options, and I don't know if that's good or bad. I don't know what is important to think about. I'm frustrated that I'm trying hard, but not getting any answers.
Self-help guru style....'so far I've learnt...'

i. It's OK to make a mistake. In fact, it's usually pretty helpful.I made a mistake in choosing a PhD after university for all the wrong reasons. I wasted a fair bit of time, and have a 'I quit' on my CV. But, I picked myself back up, dusted myself off, and hey, worst things happen. And I learnt somethings about myself.
ii. Do it for yourself and nobody else, this is intrinsically linked to number 1 for me.

iii. Choose something you enjoy, your career is 40 years, so it has to be something you enjoy, are motivated by and/or care about

iv. There is no dream job, and if there is they don't dish them out to fresh-faced young graduates. Perhaps a bit opposing to number 4 but sometimes you have to see the bigger picture

v. Try things out, I for one don't care until I'm a bit involved in something

Some really annoying 'careers advisors' and self-help style career books ask stupid questions like 'what are your skills', 'what motivates you.....' . Actually, it's hard to answer questions like that. Or I, for one, am very good at giving answers I think I should be saying. But I have to try to find the answers. At the moment I feel like my life is standing still while I try to find out the answers. But the world is going on around me, and I just missing my 20's.
 
By the way I tried, 'what colour is your parachute?' and thought it was a complete load of tosh.
Edward de Bono's The Thinking Course however is really good if you're not very good at making decisions.
In conclusion something has to change. And soon.

Exuberance is beauty

 

On Friday, I went to the Manchester Art Gallery. I saw some Goya, Hockney, Freud, Valette, Lowry, Hodgkin, Giacometti and Bacon. There was an interesting exhibiton of Eastern modern art, which reminded me in parts of Banksy. I managed to go to see the Banksy exhibition at Bristol Art Gallery, which was surreal and pretty special. The Times have a good article on Banksy at the moment. 

The second exhibiton was by Ron Mueck, an australian sculptor. Made of resin and hard laborious work, his large sculptors are an intimate portrayal of man at his most exposed.

I also met Modigliani for the first time. There is something of a mask-like quality in the face of this painting, Portrait of an unkown model. It held me there, lingering over the painting for short time. It was a funny feeling.

Girl Power

Do it for the girls! I can't stand this kind of pro-feminist slang. I find it comes across to make females sound weak and pathetic, and let's face it- a bit of a joke. Nonetheless I've said already- feminism is a big 'yes'. But using the word 'girl' in a feminist statement is something of an oxymoron for me.

Anyway, the point is, I completely adore Women's Hour on BBC Radio 4, 10am weekdays. It's a small moment of brightening pleasure in my day. Sometimes I learn a bit, and usually thoroughly enjoy the chat. This week prior to Women's Hour Patti Smith is reading from her autobiographical novel. I don't know much about her but I really like the story. she writes beautifully. Another thing is I'm often irrationally drawn towards all things New York. I've never been, and quite possibly if or when I do go its shine will die a little. Patti Smith's story is one of finding your place, or finding a good place, and not trying to fit in somewhere you obviously won't be happy. Be yourself, and try hard. Good mantra for today.Thanks Patti.

Out of Kilter but thinking about my Valentine

Valentine- Carol Ann Duffy

Not a red rose or a satin heart.

I give you an onion.

It is a moon wrapped in brown paper.

It promises light

like the careful undressing of love.

Here.

It will blind you with tears

like a lover.

It will make your reflection

a wobbling photo of grief.

I am trying to be truthful.

Not a cute card or a kissogram.

I give you an onion.

Its fierce kiss will stay on your lips,

possessive and faithful

as we are,

for as long as we are.

Take it.

Its platinum loops shrink to a wedding-ring,

if you like.

Lethal.

Its scent will cling to your fingers,

cling to your knife.